I have to confess: Growing up as the child of Eastern European parents, I couldn't help but notice the stark contrast in parenting styles between Eastern and Western cultures.
I raised an American family in Bethesda. Over my impotent objections, the schools, the neighbors, the therapists and the rest of the family dictated the American-style upbringing you describe. The tally:
Eldest living on the streets (diagnosed with ADHD, tactile defensiveness, etc. I suspect it adds up to something on the autism spectrum. Middle child, daughter, unsuccessful in relationships, problem with alcohol, dead at 39 of the vax. Youngest child cut me off 15 years ago, resolutely single feminist at 35.
Now the upside. Three lovely young Eastern European children. The three-year-old is happily unbuttoning my shirt as I type this. They understand the word "no," which they hear with appropriate frequency. They understand bedtime. They get spanked when they need it, and told mom and dad love them all the time. There is no perfect regime for raising kids, but as you say, you did pretty well.
Once in a while one comes across an article that just groks the issue without saying a word too much or too little. This is one of the best.
What a lovely comment, truly.
You say it well!
I raised an American family in Bethesda. Over my impotent objections, the schools, the neighbors, the therapists and the rest of the family dictated the American-style upbringing you describe. The tally:
Eldest living on the streets (diagnosed with ADHD, tactile defensiveness, etc. I suspect it adds up to something on the autism spectrum. Middle child, daughter, unsuccessful in relationships, problem with alcohol, dead at 39 of the vax. Youngest child cut me off 15 years ago, resolutely single feminist at 35.
Now the upside. Three lovely young Eastern European children. The three-year-old is happily unbuttoning my shirt as I type this. They understand the word "no," which they hear with appropriate frequency. They understand bedtime. They get spanked when they need it, and told mom and dad love them all the time. There is no perfect regime for raising kids, but as you say, you did pretty well.
I bought your book after reading your article and have recommended it to many. You are a shining light.
Thank you so much! I hope you enjoy the book.
So true. I’ve often thought about this especially with having grandchildren and looking back to your own childhood.
Do you find that the parenting style has changed?
Yes definitely it has as it used to be much stricter when I was young. Not just with parents but also at school.